Column "Scenery of the Heart"

In "Kokoro no Kaze", staff take turns writing about what they feel and notice about various events that occur in daily life and interpersonal relationships from a psychological perspective. Please take a look.
From 2021, this column will be published twice a year in "Koho Asia".

Reiwa 5th year

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January 15, 2020 No. 931

Do you know HSP?

Counselor Rei Odagiri

What is HSP?

During consultations, I often hear from students that they might be HSP. HSP stands for Highly Sensitive Person. This is a personality trait proposed by American psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron. In recent years, the book ``Delicate-san'' has become a hot topic.
 
People with HSP tendencies have a strong ability to feel both physically and mentally, making them sensitive to stimuli. They sense the atmosphere of the place, the situations and emotions of others, piece together small changes that others might overlook, and keep thinking of ways to respond, which can lead to exhaustion.

Accept yourself first

We tend to believe that such characteristics are innate faults and shortcomings because we have been told by our families and those around us that we care too much since childhood. A similar trend can be seen among students who come for counseling.
 
How about trying to accept your own characteristics in a positive way? ``I have a sensitive trait.'' This can lead to fear and fatigue easily, but it can also be used to be moved by small scenes in daily life, notice the kindness of casual people, and feel happy. .
 
You use your nerves more than others, so when you're tired, you need time alone to rest your mind. A non-stimulating environment or a place where you can feel safe becomes your "safe base." One student said that he sleeps curled up with a futon over his head.

Understanding HSP

HSP people like people, but because they are nervous, they tend to have trouble interacting with large groups of people.
 
Also, even if you are good at sensing the subtleties of other people's emotions, you may not be able to pinpoint the exact reason for that emotion, and may worry that it is your fault.
 
Above all, HSP is not a disease or disorder. It's just one of its characteristics.
 
Please share with your family the benefits of having a sensitive sensibility, and take care of the hardships that come with being sensitive. That should be your strength more than anything.

*Click here if you want to know more about HSP
“Off-campus site: The Highly Sensitive Person (Japanese version)

References
Yuki Takeda “The Book of Delicate” Asuka Shinsha 2018
Elaine N. Aaron "For those of you who get easily upset over trivial things." Kodansha 2000
“How to make the most of someone who is too sensitive” Panrolling Co., Ltd. 2020
September 25, 2020 No. 929

Recommendation for respecting diversity

Counselor Reiko Koichi

individuality

I meet many students every day, and each one has different concerns and themes. One of the things I value is respect for individuality. I try to understand each student rather than treating them the same way even though they have similar situations and problems.

Diversity

In this process, we sometimes hear about feelings of discomfort or difficulty in accepting people who have characteristics different from themselves. It may be about age, nationality, ethnicity, religion, disability, etc., or it may be about thoughts, consciousness, and feelings. Each person is unique, but it can sometimes be difficult to accept those who are different from yourself.

LGBTQ+ and SOGIE

Gender-related matters are also one type of diversity. SOGIE, which is often used these days, is an abbreviation for ``sexual orientation,'' ``gender identity,'' and ``gender expression.'' Unlike LGBTQ+, which refers to a specific person, it is a word that expresses the way of sexuality that applies to all people. In other words, everyone can stand on the same field and express their sexual diversity.
 
In this way, instead of looking at differences, we may become more familiar with diversity if we think of it as a spectrum (continuum/distribution range).

take a look at yourself

In addition, some feelings of discomfort or difficulty in accepting others may be due to a feeling of being threatened by their presence or because some kind of emotion in oneself is stimulated.
 
For example, if you have a feeling that is difficult to accept, it may actually be a hidden feeling that you do not want to admit, such as feelings of inferiority, prejudice, or favoritism towards that person. Once you become aware of this, you will begin to change your negative feelings and behaviors, leading to better understanding of the other person and improved relationships.

Respect for diversity and dialogue

If we accept differences as diversity and deepen our understanding of each other's positions, ways of living, ways of feeling, and ways of thinking, I believe that various situations will move in a better direction.
 
When something happens in your daily life, why don't you ask yourself these questions and try to "respect diversity" and have a "dialogue" with each other as if you are in the "same field"?

2022

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January 15, 5th year of Reiwa No. 925

Encourage empathy

Counselor Reiko Koichi

to meet face to face

Since face-to-face classes, about 90% of the counseling sessions with students have been through face-to-face meetings. Although online is convenient, I feel that there are many things that can be felt by actually meeting, and I feel the smoothness when introducing other departments and faculty members.

Student Stories and “Empathy”

I hear a lot of stories from everyone, but sometimes they talk about the pain and loneliness of their daily lives, and sometimes they talk about fun times or what they're into lately. I can feel the character of a student in each one of them, and since they overlap with the themes I have, I try to think about their meaning.

In stories such as dramas, novels, comics, etc., the word "empathy" seems to be a daily thing for students, such as "I could sympathize with this main character" or "I really sympathized with ____'s tweet." However, on the contrary, I feel that I rarely hear my friends and parents say that they "sympathized" and "understood me."

“Empathy” in Relationships

Every day, I meet with students based on empathy, but I feel that there are few opportunities to empathize with students in their daily lives. Even if you can empathize with something for yourself, it may be surprisingly rare for you to feel and empathize with the feelings of the other person in front of you.

"Power of Empathy"

We all have experienced that by empathizing with others, we can reflect on ourselves and heal our feelings of loneliness, and by empathizing with others, we feel lighter, and the strength to take action arises within us. It may have been. I believe that there is a "power" that is born in a place that is woven by empathizing and being empathized with. It cannot be done alone.

When things don't go well in your daily parent-child relationships or friendships, why not try to be a little more empathetic? I would be very happy if I could change something by trying to feel the other person's feelings.
September 15, 2020 No. 923

to find the optimal psychological distance

Counselor Rei Odagiri

What is the optimal psychological distance?

The age of university students is an important time to search for your own way of life while building up your feelings, ways of thinking, and values based on your previous experiences, while accumulating interactions with other people. As a step towards that, independence becomes very important.

Independence has a lot to do with emotional independence from parents. While conflicting between their parents' way of thinking and their own way of thinking, or rebelling against their parents, they follow the process of finding the optimal psychological distance.

The optimal psychological distance is different for each individual and family. To find the “best fit,” the child needs to try approaching, moving away, rebelling, and spoiling over and over again. Also, the change in the distance and relationship that has been up to now causes anxiety. In the process of overcoming that anxiety, relationships with friends and lovers change to become more important, and a world other than family is established.

In fact, many of the consultations from students are about parent-child relationships. Just as parents worry about their relationship with their children, children also worry and struggle with wanting their parents to understand them.

Listen to your child's arguments

How should parents deal with rebellious and disobedient children?

Even with common sense, even though I recommend what should be the best for the person, they don't listen to me. In that case, the arguments with each other may sometimes accelerate and become yelling at each other. It's just a "showdown" between parent and child. However, in this "confrontation", parents need not only to make their own claims, but also to listen to their children's claims. On top of that, ask yourself whether your sense of values is narrow, what is the background of what the child is asserting, are there any parts you can agree on, and if so, what are the goals you can compromise on? "Confrontation" is also included. But thinking in emotional situations is very difficult.

Have a constructive discussion

There is a method called "Anger Management" in which you consciously stop your behavior for 6 seconds when you feel angry so that you do not get angry emotionally unless you need to.

The feeling of anger peaks for 6 seconds from that moment and seems to subside after that. At the same time, it is said that you can regain your composure by considering the degree and reason of your anger and looking at it objectively. If you can respond in this way, you may be able to proceed constructively.

First of all, listen carefully to what your child has to say, and if you have time to think for yourself about what words to say, it will be easier to find the optimal psychological distance.

2021

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November 15, 2021 No. 918

do you value being

Counselor Rei Odagiri

Is there an end to hard work?

In today's world, there are many situations in which we are asked how to reach our goals and how to achieve them efficiently. Even after studying for entrance exams and going on to university, there are assignments and presentations in classes, job hunting, and even after you start working as a member of society, "what kind of results you can produce for your tasks" is more important than anything else. increase.
 
If you continue to make efforts to earnestly complete the assignments given one after another, you do not know how to take a rest, you are worried about the evaluation of others, you are stressed and tired, and you despair for the future. There is also
 
Counseling Center sometimes receive such consultations from students. I will introduce the way of thinking that will be a hint at such times from the trouble consultation column of the newspaper.

being and doing

In English, "human beings" are called "human beings." Erich Fromm, a German social psychologist, psychoanalyst, and philosopher, emphasized the "do" of action rather than the existing "be." We are now "human doing," he argued. Being is based on the feelings, desires, physiological reactions, etc. that are here and now, that is, "being here and now". On the other hand, doing sees human beings as a totality of things acquired and accumulated through actions, such as abilities, qualifications, titles and achievements.
 
At school and in society, we are always asked to do things due to expectations and roles. In our daily life, where we prioritize only what we need to do and only look at the future, we sometimes fail to realize that we are neglecting the present. Many people, both adults and children, lose sight of themselves and suppress their present emotions and physiological reactions.
 
However, human beings have value just by being alive from the time they are born. I believe that by affirming "being as we are", we will be freed from the prejudice that we must continue to strive, worrying about the evaluations of others.

balance

Being and doing can be said to be two wheels. Only when you realize that you are good enough to be yourself in any situation can you gain the power to positively affirm yourself. By balancing the two, you'll be able to maintain your identity while maintaining the energy to reach your goals.
 
When you talk to your child, don't you just send out the message "try harder" or "do your best"? As a family, please cherish the time your child can be.
 
<Reference>
 Takayuki Kiyota “The Crucible of Worry” “Asahi Shimbun” 2021.4.10 edition
July 15, 2021 No. 916

Family relationships, time to reconsider

Counselor Reiko Koichi

family during the corona crisis

Over the past year and a half, it may have been a big change in my life to spend more time with my family as we continued to restrict non-essential outings as a countermeasure against the new coronavirus infection. Some families may have had more time to talk and get together as a family, while others may have had more conflicts due to stress.
 
Last year, there were quite a few telephone consultations from family members. Is it a recent parent-child relationship that it's surprisingly difficult to talk about important things even though you're close? As a parent, I would be very worried if my child didn't study or look for a job and seemed to be doing nothing. In addition, I think there are various situations such as being unable to contact a child who lives far away, and being surprised by a grade report saying that they are not getting Credit even though they thought everything was fine.

think about family relationships

However, your child may be in trouble. Not knowing what to do, it is possible that you are withdrawing yourself in your room and distracting yourself with sleep or playing games. Family members are close psychologically and it is difficult to calm down, but it may be an important step to calm down and listen carefully to the person's circumstances and feelings. Children may suffer more than they seem in loneliness that no one understands. In times like these, your family can be your best friend. Even if you ask them, they may not speak right away, but you can feel their willingness to get close to them and try to understand them.
 
In addition to thinking about it with your family, why don't you talk to the person at Counseling Center? I think it's one idea to recommend it.

Counseling Center

As the coronavirus situation continues, some students are showing anxiety, depression, and poor physical condition.
 
At Counseling Center, we help students sort out their feelings by talking to them, regain their energy, and lighten the difficulties of life. Parents and guardians are also welcome to consult with us about their students.

2020

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December 10, 2020 No. 912

What I felt from "Naoki Hanzawa"

Counselor Hiroki Tanikawa

The TV drama “Naoki Hanzawa” became a big topic and received a lot of attention. I've been watching every week since the first episode, and I'm one of those people who got completely hooked. In the previous work, there were buzzwords such as "double return", but this time there were many famous sayings. Among them, I will introduce the words that left a particularly strong impression on me.
 
◎ Be proud
 Naoki Hanzawa, who was seconded to a securities company, returns to the bank, and there is a scene where a farewell party is held. There, Naoki Hanzawa makes a speech in front of his subordinates and friends. “No matter what company they are in or what kind of work they do, I believe that people who take pride in their work, work hard every day, and feel a sense of accomplishment are called true winners.” I remember being impressed by the content when I heard it.
 
I believe that the content contained in these words applies not only to working people, but also to university students. Don't just focus on your studies and sports, pay attention to part-time jobs, hobbies, and other things you do casually every day. I think there are things you do every day, things you are particular about, things you couldn't do before, things you do for someone else or for yourself. By positively accepting what you have done from there, you may be able to have pride.
 
It doesn't matter if it's something trivial or something you take for granted. Even if you don't get good evaluations from others and you can't boast about it, you should be able to develop confidence by working with pride. I think that it becomes the personality of the person and can be an advantage.
 
◎ Recognizing others
 Another thing that left an impression on me in "Naoki Hanzawa" is that people who were once enemies or rivals become allies. What's more, the people who become allies become very reassuring, and Naoki Hanzawa helps him when he's in trouble. Even though we were outwardly hostile to each other, in fact, I think that it was precisely because we recognized each other somewhere that we became allies in times of need.
 
I'm sure all of you have had people you've seen as rivals, people you used to quarrel with, and people who get annoyed when you're with them. When it comes to people who dislike or are not good at it, it's easy to see what they don't like or have weaknesses in, and they tend to find fault with them, and I think it can't be helped. Why don't you dare to find the good points of the other party and the places where you can sympathize? I think that will change the impression of the other person a little.
 
Currently, the number of days I go to university due to the corona crisis is decreasing. I find it difficult to even meet, let alone make friends. That's why why don't you look back on the people you've been involved with so far? As you discover the goodness of that person, your impression will change a little, and if you actually meet them, you may feel differently than before.
If you keep your pride and recognition of others in mind, even if it's just in a corner, it will surely be a great support for yourself.
October 10, 2020 No. 908

Important things to change from the current situation

Counselor Reiko Koichi

◎ "Daily life" stolen
 Every summer, there are reports on the TV about the end of World War II, but I wondered if I was influenced by what I heard from my parents and grandparents generation, thinking about the situation in Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Manchuria, and Europe at that time. I feel grateful that there is peace.
 
However, this year, due to the influence of the new coronavirus, we have been deprived of the daily life that we took for granted, and our physical and mental health has been threatened. In addition, it is no longer possible to get together with friends casually, take classes at university, study abroad, participate in club activities, and live a part-time job.
 
I'm finally getting used to living with COVID-19, but while it's convenient because most of my work is done online, I've had less contact with people. Also, some people may not be able to enjoy going out or eating out as they used to because of their fear of infection, and may be feeling depressed and half-hearted.
 
◎ About the Holocaust
 There are people who have been unilaterally robbed of their ordinary daily lives in a cruel way. Jews during World War II. Not only were they deprived of their civil rights, such as access to parks and restaurants, but they were also deprived of jobs and education, confiscated their homes and property, and sent to concentration camps. There were deaths and violence on a daily basis, and many people died because they were treated without human dignity.
 
Last summer, when I traveled by car in Poland, I visited the Auschwitz-Birkenau extermination camp (see V.E. Frankl's "Night and Fog") and the ruins of the Warsaw Ghetto (the setting of the movie "The Pianist on the Warfield"). So, I asked the official guide about the story, and when I saw the records of those who miraculously survived, I felt that to survive such a harsh situation, you need physical strength, wit, luck, and humor. However, the most important thing was the "strong will" to survive no matter what, and the "existence of important people and connections with people."
 
People who became lonely and lost the will to live are said to have lost the light in their eyes and the light of life in an instant.
 
◎ Relationships with people
 The situations are not comparable, but I feel there is much to be learned from the many facets of the Holocaust.
Some students may feel isolated from others and feel anxious and lonely. Also, you may be feeling the pain of family ties because you are not allowed to go out, or you may be overwhelmed by the burden of more assignments than usual in online classes.
 
Even if you think about how to spend your time and how to survive in this unpredictable situation, you may not immediately come up with anything. However, even if you can't move right now, if you have even the slightest desire to do something about your current situation, and if you have the desire to connect with people, the situation will surely change little by little.
 
◎ Don't hold it all by yourself
 Thinking alone can make your head full. In such cases, please contact Counseling Center. I hope that we can overcome this difficult situation together, even if it is little by little.
July 25, 2020 No. 907

A sense of safety at your own pace and a sense of security connected to people

Counselor Mitsue Sekine

◎Collect Animal Crossing
 Nintendo's game software "Atsume Animal Crossing", which was released in March of this year, has gained worldwide popularity.
 
In the game, you can interact with animals living on uninhabited islands while freely doing things like fishing, catching insects, picking fruits, and expanding or redecorating your home. You can also use the online function to play in the game world with your real friends.
 
The reason for its popularity is that you can escape from the reality of the new coronavirus infection and withdraw into a safe world, and you can interact with real friends who cannot meet directly due to infection prevention through the game. There seems to be
 
◎Relationships online
 College Lecture are now being held online. In normal years, the campus of the university is bustling with the voices of students, but now it's quiet and I feel lonely. Whether you are a new student or a current student, there are many things you may be confused about in your first online class. In addition, in online classes, assignments are given every time in the majority of classes, so it seems that it is difficult for students to be busy with assignments.
 
On the other hand, if you are not good at being in a large group in a regular face-to-face class, or are nervous about giving a presentation in front of an audience, you may find online classes easier to take. This is probably because you can safely proceed at your own pace because you are in your own safe base, your own home, and you are interacting with the outside world.
 
◎ Relationships with people
 In normal face-to-face classes, there is a part where students naturally support each other. For example, even if you think that you are the only one who is not able to solve the problem, you can feel relieved and feel that you are not alone when you know that other people are also not. Furthermore, if you are the only one who can solve the problem, you will gain confidence. From that, you can see your proficiency level, so you can adjust your study pace. Of course, there will be times when you teach each other what you don't understand, or complain and complain about each other.
 
Even in online classes, if you have friends who are taking the same class, you can rest assured that they will support you in private communication. However, especially new students are in the stage of making friends at the university, so I am worried that they may be struggling with various anxiety and loneliness.
 
◎ Ability to seek help
 Asking for help depending on the content is one of the skills that can be acquired while in college. It takes some courage at first, but if you have any questions about classes, please consult with your teacher or Counseling Center. Currently, Counseling Center offers online consultations, such as Zoom, in addition to phone calls.
 
◎Let's support each other and overcome
 Even in “Animal Crossing: New Horizons”, it is the contact with animals and people that adds a relaxing warmth to the relaxing time. These days, it's easy to be overly cautious about others due to fear of infection, but I want to get through this fight by interacting in a safe way and supporting each other.
May 25, 2020 No. 903

Tips for maintaining mental health

Counselor Rei Odagiri

◎Are you in such a state?
 I worry a lot about my health, financial problems, and the future. Imagining the worst that could happen makes you more fearful and restless. Restrictions on freedom make them feel angry and anxious. Restricted interaction with others, feeling isolated and lonely. I haven't been able to get used to online classes, and I'm exhausted both physically and mentally because I'm busy submitting assignments.
 
In a different environment than ever before, it is a natural reaction to feel various stresses. However, if you fall into a state of "corona depression" such as insomnia (hypersomnia), loss of appetite, lethargy and helplessness, and wanting to cry for no reason, your resistance will weaken and you will become unstable both physically and mentally.

Specific remedy

1. Know your status
 Objectively knowing your condition, such as anxiety and frustration, is very effective in making future policies. Don't deny your own feelings, just accept them as they are. Some of them may have been hurt by being irritated by others. In such a case, please direct your warm feelings to yourself, saying, "It was painful, I'm sad."
 
2. Change consciousness by actually “acting”
 It's hard to get rid of your anxiety, fear, and frustration. However, if you act consciously, you can influence your emotions. Cook meals, clean, do laundry, use stairs instead of elevators. If you get accurate information about TV programs that incite anxiety, you will stop watching them. Try to get in touch with your family and friends. It's a good idea to write down what you have to do today and tomorrow and cross out what you have done. Concrete actions lead to changes in emotions.
 
3. Protect the life cycle (← This is the most important!)
 Classes have started, but taking classes at home instead of going to university saves the hassle and time of commuting, but on the other hand, if you do not maintain the cycle of your daily life, it will be difficult to take classes even online. Become. On the other hand, it becomes important to be aware that you are in control of your own life, and living an autonomous life leads to a sense of accomplishment.
 
Maintaining a regular cycle is also very important for reducing depression. Wake up at a set time in the morning, stick to your bedtime as much as possible, and eat regularly. If you continue to sleep for a long time, you can lower the quality of sleep and, as a result, break the life cycle. Also, moderate exercise is necessary to increase appetite. There are also indoor radio calisthenics, jump ropes that take up minimal space, and short walks to get some sun. You will be able to sleep better by balancing moving your body and moving your brain.
 
4. Stay in touch with people close to you
 Not isolating yourself is also essential for your mental health. Even if it's difficult to meet in person, you can still make virtual connections, such as by phone or on social media. If you understand what kind of life you are living, feel safe, and share your feelings and thoughts with each other, you may discover a side of the other person that you have never felt before. If it is difficult to communicate with people, you can talk to yourself after assuming someone else. “Talking” is also said to be “letting go (from yourself), letting go”. By doing so, you can notice objective awareness and release stress.
 
5. Challenge what you can do because you have time
 It's natural to feel anxious about the future, but changing your mindset to "find a positive side" in that situation is also useful for your mental and physical health. Taking advantage of the time spent commuting to school and going out less often, I rarely have the opportunity to clean my room, try to read the book I wanted to read, look back on my daily life, and rediscover myself. yeah. Spend plenty of time learning languages, creative activities, and of course your favorite pastimes.
 
If you've tried the above and still feel like you're still having trouble, why not consult Counseling Center? Don't hold it alone, think about the current situation together and get over it.
April 10, 2020 No. 901

Support student life

このコラム「こころの風景」は、私たちの生活の中で起きる事を、4人のカウンセラーが交替で心理的側面から捉えお伝えしていきます。ぜひご一読ください。 初回はカウンセリングセンターの紹介です。
 
★カウンセリング
学生生活の中で直面する様々な問題について相談に応じています。あなたが困った時、「こんなことを人に相談してもいいのかな」「誰に話したらいいのかわからない」と思うことはありませんか。 カウンセリングは、あなたが考え、感じ、悩んでいることなどをカウンセラーが聴き、どうすればよいのか、どうしたいのかを一緒に考えていきます。どうぞひとりで抱え込まずに、話しに来て下さい。どんな所か見学だけでも歓迎します。 話された内容については固く秘密を守りますのでご安心ください。必要に応じて、医療機関や学内の部署も紹介できます。
 
★利用できる方
本学の在学生及びその支援者（家族・教職員・友人など。相談内容は学生に関することに限ります)。
 
★相談内容の例
人間関係（友達・家族他）／修学（履修・単位修得・休学など）／進路（就職・進路変更など）／自分自身（性格・特徴など）／学生生活全般（課外活動・アルバイトなど）／その他どんなことでも結構です。
 
★相談したいときには
次の方法で予約を。面接枠に空きがあれば、予約なしでも相談できます。
【メール予約】
件名「相談希望」、本文①学籍番号②氏名③希望日時（第3希望まで）を記入してください。
アドレス：counsel@asia-u.ac.jp（予約専用）
【電話予約】
0422-36-3285
来所での相談が困難な場合には電話相談もできます。
【来所予約】
ゆうちょ銀行ＡＴＭ近くの白い建物
 
★受付時間
平日9時～16時30分
 
★スタッフ
臨床心理士・公認心理師の資格を有したカウンセラー（男性・女性)がいます。担当者のご希望があればお受けします。
 
★平成30年度の来談者数
学生・支援者2,007件
 
★相談以外の活動
【自己理解カード〔新入生・編入生対象〕】
自分の特徴や性格を知る手がかりとして活用して下さい（結果はmanabaか閲覧できます。日程は亜大ポータルで確認して下さい）.
【心理テスト】
「性格検査」「職業興味検査」が受けられます。
【ワークショップ等】
自己理解やコミュニケーションをテーマに実施。詳細は、広報アジア・大学HPで。
【オープンすぺえす「ホッと‐場」】
疲れてひと休みしたいとき、息抜きをしたいときなどに、ゆっくり過ごすための場所です。
月～金曜日の9時30分～16時30分まで開放しています。［授業のない期間は10時30分～15時30分］
 
カウンセリングセンターは、学生の皆さんの成長・発達を支援します。詳しいことは、大学ホームページをご覧下さい。 充実した学生生活を過ごすためにカウンセリングセンターをご活用ください
Counseling Center

2019

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January 10, 2020 No. 898

one team

Counselor Rei Odagiri

South Africa, winner of last year's Rugby World Cup. Captain Kosiri, the first black captain, said after the victory, "There are various problems in our country. However, players of different races and backgrounds come together and work together toward one goal for the country. I fought. I wanted to show that if you want to achieve something, you can become one."
 
*Nelson Mandela
 In 1994, the late Nelson Mandela, who became South Africa's first president through the first all-race participation election, became president. strongly supported. By having the rugby team play an active role in the World Cup, which is attracting attention from all over the world, and becoming No. 1, they appealed to South Africa as a whole for "reform." This victory played a role in impressing and uniting the entire nation beyond race.
 
◎ “Soul Commander”
 Mr. Mandela is a person who devoted himself to the anti-apartheid movement and worked hard to abolish apartheid after spending 27 years in prison for treason. He never gave up his convictions even during his long imprisonment. At that time, I fell in love with the poetry of an Englishman. The last two lines read, "I am the ruler of my destiny" and "I am the commander of my soul." No matter how harsh the situation was, he must have strongly carved into his heart that "the subject of one's life is oneself." As people go through their lives, there are times when they experience painful, sad, and discouraging situations. At that time, Mr. Mandela was chanting words to support himself and regain himself. And the anecdote of presenting this poem to the captain of the rugby team at the time, Pinar, before the World Cup match is a famous story that was made into a movie.
 
◎Find the good side
 Another thing Mr. Mandela did to unite the different ethnic groups was to appeal, "Let's forget the past and face the future." They want to wash away the long history of racism, persecution, and other unfair treatment. He has always tried to "see the good side" in dealing with everyone. He also believed that all men are good until something happens that proves them to be bad. And I have earned the trust of others in many situations by acting with sincerity. However, he says he was sometimes betrayed. At that time, I interpreted that "the other person acted only for his own benefit, and did not intend to betray him. Therefore, it is insignificant." His credo was that "a person's sincerity can only be drawn out by a sincere person."
 
◎Learning from the spirit of rugby
 "Courage does not mean fearlessness. It is the will to overcome the fear that you have. That is courage." After that, while I was exposed to the South African rugby spirit, I came across the way of life of Mr. Mandela, who courageously achieved "One Country" in addition to the spirit of "One Team" shared by the Japanese team. Continuing from last year's excitement, this year's coming Tokyo Olympics will start a new year of thinking about what kind of heart-rending awaits us.
 
References: Living by Belief by Richard Stergen
October 10, 2019 No. 893

Problem Solving and Affordances

Koichi Hirasawa

Have you ever heard the word affordance?
 
it's not a dance.
It is the central concept of the ecological perception theory advocated by American perceptual psychologist James J. Gibson, and refers to the "meaning" that the environment gives to animals. It is a coined word from English (afford) which means "to give".
 
◎Problems caused by the environment
 Global warming is a problem that the environment poses to us and is becoming more serious year by year. In Japan, the damage caused by the nuclear power plant accident, including post-processing, and natural disasters such as typhoons and heavy rains are increasing, and there are many problems in the process of reconstruction, such as shortages of human and material resources.
 
◎ How to solve problems
 Many of the problems that occur around us do not exist in isolation, and multiple problems are intricately intertwined. It is not uncommon for people to be swayed by this and take action that loses the essence of the problem. Normally, when solving a problem, I think that you are the subject of how you think about the problem, how you deal with it, how you handle it, and how you lead it to a solution. This is fine, but if it is difficult to solve the problem in this way, I think it would be a good idea to consider it from the perspective of affordance.
 
◎What is Affordance?
 Gibson describes affordances as “the relationship of action that exists between animals and objects.” For example, when talking about a bench in a park, ``I can sit on the bench,'' and the relationship that this possibility exists is ``This bench and I have the affordance of sitting.'' This bench affords the act of sitting on it.” In other words, affordance refers to the possibility of action itself.
 
◎University affordability
 Please try to capture the current university life once with affordance. I just spend my days without any visible problems, but for some reason I can't go to college, I can't attend classes, and I spend my empty and boring days thinking, "What am I doing? A sense of fulfillment." I want to experience this, but I don't really know what to do."
 
In such a case, why don't you think, "What does the university afford to me?" I think that various things will come out. For example, the university ``affords me to qualify for graduation,'' ``affords me a place to be,'' ``affords my personal growth opportunities.'' As you can see, there are various affordances between students and the university.
 
◎ Reversal idea
 By looking at things from the perspective of affordances, your field of vision expands at once.
In today's world, where it's easy to lose sight of what you actually feel, it wouldn't be a bad idea to look at yourself from the opposite perspective, thinking about what the environment is giving you rather than focusing on yourself.
July 10, 2019 No. 890

What can be seen after failure

Mitsue Sekine

◎ "Hayabusa" and "Hayabusa2"
 In February of this year, the Japanese unmanned probe "Hayabusa 2" successfully landed on the asteroid Ryugu. In 2005, the first "Hayabusa" landed on the asteroid Itokawa and brought back material, but this is a global achievement that follows. For asteroids and other bodies with low gravity, it is difficult to control the spacecraft, and a high-performance spacecraft and precise control technology are required. In the background of this feat, there were multiple failures in the preparation stage for both aircraft. It seems that facing each time, pursuing the cause and countermeasures, and passing on the experience correctly led to the ability to overcome new difficulties. How do you deal with failure?
 
◎ Weiner's causal attribution theory
 The process of thinking about the causes of success or failure is called causal attribution. Weiner and others, social psychologists, identify the cause based on the "locus of control" (whether the cause is within oneself or outside) and "stability" (whether it is changeable or not). Attribution is classified into four categories. They are (1) ability, (2) effort, (3) difficulty of the task, and (4) luck. Of the four, when the cause of failure is attributed to "ability", it seems that the depression is the largest and the motivation is the lowest. Attributing to “difficulty of the task” or “luck” does not make me depressed, but it also does not motivate me. Attributing to "effort" seems to be the most motivated, although slightly depressed. By the way, when the cause of success is attributed to “ability,” self-confidence grows and motivation increases.
 
◎ Dealing with failure
 When you face failure, just accepting the fact will do a lot of damage. That's why facing failure and thinking about the cause and countermeasures is too painful and makes you want to look away. However, it may be because the cause is attributed to "ability" and the motivation is lowered. In order to increase motivation, attributing to "effort" rather than "ability", collecting information again, planning trends and countermeasures, and rehearsing assuming the actual performance, prepare and build confidence. would be valid. In addition, especially if you are going to take on a more difficult task, we recommend that you gradually build up your preparation and confidence through trial and error.
 
◎Failure leads to new encounters
 There is also another way of looking at failure. Rather than thinking that the only way to achieve success by challenging yourself is to achieve your goal, failure is a step in finding an environment that suits you. If you think about it that way, even if you fail an interview at the company you want to work for, or if you don't make progress with someone you want to be intimate with, take it as a sign that "there are other environments where you can live healthier and more happily." I can. The process of finding an environment that suits you is also an opportunity to learn more about yourself, and you may be waiting for a new encounter with yourself that you have not yet known.
April 25, 2019 No. 886

play is important

Hiroki Tanikawa

The new year has finally begun. Some people want to do their best in school, sports, art, etc.
 
◎ Image of “play”
 What kind of image do you have when you hear the word "play"? If you were told by your parents when you were little, "Don't play around and study hard," you may have an image that "playing is something you shouldn't do." If you are told to play without studying, you may feel a little uncomfortable.
 
In sports, there may be people who feel that it is virtuous to devote themselves to practice without paying any attention to play, and that taking a break from practice to play is unserious. I myself have been told by a teacher at a certain school that "playing is prohibited" and have been forced to concentrate on my studies. I remember feeling somewhat indebted to playing for that reason. Also, when I was studying for entrance exams, I remember thinking that playing was a hindrance to studying.
 
Then, is "playing" a bad thing and a hindrance to study and sports?
 
◎ “Play” is essential for human growth
 There is a psychotherapy called play therapy, which is a child-oriented approach. In the space of the playroom, we aim to express our feelings through "play", regain our original mind, and demonstrate the power we have. In other words, "play" helps children develop self-confidence and leads to their mental growth.
 
In addition, it is said that children learn how to communicate and rules through "play" and acquire sociality. In that sense, "play" is essential for human growth and very important for children. This applies not only to children, but also to students and adults.
 
◎ Significance of “Play”
 For example, the brakes of a car have "play" in which the brakes do not apply even when the pedal is stepped on. If there is no play, the brakes will be applied the moment you step on it, and the occupants will be shaken violently, which is extremely dangerous. With play, you can stop slowly and safely. From this, "play" can be rephrased as "comfort". If you apply it to human feelings, if you don't have "comfort", you will only get impatient and frustrated, things will not progress and you will be stuck, and you will not be able to take care of others. When you have "comfort" in your feelings, you will be able to make calm decisions, be considerate of others, and things will be easier to proceed smoothly.
 
It can be said that "play" brings "relaxation" to the mind, relieves the stress that occurs in daily life, and builds moderate human relationships. If you think about it that way, "play" is effective for increasing efficiency rather than hindering study and sports.
 
There are many different kinds of “play”. I would like you to find a "play" that suits you in your university life, which gives you "relax" in your heart.
April 10, 2019 No. 885

Support student life

このコラム「こころの風景」は、日常生活や対人関係の中で起こる出来事について、カウンセラーが心理的側面から捉え、交替で年５回執筆しますので、ぜひご一読ください。
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